Hand Aesthetics

It's not enough to be fit you need to have masculine and rough hands that exude manliness. Soft girly hands are a joke and biggest sign of a loser.

With this in mind I've been developing a routine for hand aesthetics. I know it sounds absurd but I work in a lab all day and I have soft hands. Lifting just doesn't give me good enough callouses and lets face it, lifting is emulating hard work so why not emulate other results of working hard.

Three days a week I vigorously rub soil for three minutes x4 reps. This really dries my skin out and also adds dirt in crevices that resists even intense scrubbing. After my soil treatment I clap my hands very hard for 30 seconds x5 reps to get rid of excess dust and dirt. I then rub my hands in a circular motion on a cinder block specially bought for this purpose. I do 30 seconds clockwise then 30 seconds counter clockwise x5 reps. I then do reps until failure using a particularly abrasive dumbbell that helps build callouses. After this I do ten minutes of training with a Prohands Pro Hand Exerciser (extra heavy tension). I do this routine three mornings every week and then wash my hands with Dr. Bronner's peppermint soap when finished and dry them with a very coarse hand towel containing coarse grit that I buy from a rock tumbling company.

On alternate days I simply do the soil and then clapping exercises followed by slapping the cinder block. I slap the cinder block 10 times per hand x5 reps. Sometimes I load the cinder block with coarse grit or talc or even sand. I find that changing the textures and using different cinder block surfaces improves the overall aesthetics by introducing some randomness. I then use the Prohands Pro Hand Exerciser to strengthen my grip. I give my hands a break every Sunday.