ITT: Characters you meet at the gym
>Gym Grandpa
>70+ years old
>barrel chested
>mustache/beard
>walks with a limp
>still the strongest motherfucker in the building
>always friendly and smiling
>everyone hopes to look as good as he does at his age
Senator John Bolton?
STANDING HERE
I REALIZE
>The Rooster
>1 rep only with as much weight as he can handle
>drops weights for attention
>struts around with bowed arms pretending to not look if people are paying attention to him
>disappears randomly for weeks because he keeps injuring himself
>does the same fucking thing when he reappears
Based
>The goofball
>Gets pumped during workout
>Makes robot noises, yells, and sings during his workout
>Lifts mostly compounds
>Friendly buy probably autistic
Literally me. I don’t get how people can go to the gym 6 times a week and not try to have fun doing it, especially fucking around with friends in between sets. It’s just annoying when people act weird like me fucking around is some alpha dominance thing because they’re too insecure to relax in the gym.
Guys like you always make good workout buddy es.
Are you spying me?
The GILF
>60 year old
>has the body of a 20 year old
>awkward boners everywhere
>once she's done with her workout she goes home to make cookies for her grandkids
>gets cancer and dies at 62
>The Bunny
>very tight pants
>very tight sports bra
>spends most of her time sitting on machines with her back slightly arced
>occasionally does a single rep with a mere 10 pounds plate on
>still gets less looks than
>the deceiver
>like 21 year old
>5'5"
>twig arms and legs
>lifts as much as 6'2" 250 pounds guys
>defies the laws of physics and biology constantly
>runs entirely on energy drinks, ramen and the occasional burrito
>might be an alien
I seem to have missed this guy. I think he only exists in anon's wildest fantasies. Which also involve anon having sex with his pick of sluts from the spin class after they witness his 350lb bench @145lbs. Afterall, it's only a matter of time before his pipes fill up that medium t-shirt.
I don't know about the ramen and burritos, but I added those for laughs. The energy drink thing is real though, he always has one with him. So is the rest.
yeah i got some of those at work. its just being young i guess. i work at a granite countertop factory and there are tiny ass zoomers lifting heavy shit despite being twigs. they are so fucking dumb though omg. public schools need to shut down along with the media. good luck with that.
I can’t tell if I am this character.
>26
>5’8
>163 pounds
>absolutely chicken leg mode
>flying spaghetti monster tier arms
>just benched 195 for one as a new PR
>will be squatting 250 after work
>have caught people anxiously looking at me as if I’m about to hurt myself squatting over 2 plates despite being able to do 225 for 10
I feel like I’m being reverse mired
Yeah, definitely you. How do you even function?
you say that as if repping 225 isn't something complete beginners can't do after a month or two of lifting.
>it took you a month
pathetique
You say this as if I give a shit. I was and still am full blown auswitchz mode and will continue being happy about achieving 2pl8 until I get to 315.
Eat my skinny DYEL ass.
you are 5'8 and 163. you are borderline overweight.
why are manlets always so proud of their lifts like bro it would be concerning if you weren't strong considering your extreme mechanical advantage.
you're not
How does one into this mode
I don't fucking know. That's the point. People like that are an affront to nature. I don't understand how they function.
Saw this comfy chad and used the machine next to him and saw that he was reading an anatomy book. Maximizing his knowledge and experience at the same time, wish I saw him again
Trips checked.
And holy shit, this guy is on another level.
Fuckin based. Working the body and the mind at the same time. I sometimes listen to books when working out but this is better.
Albert GAINstein
Bro looks like peak performance for age
How the fuck do you read while exercising?
I can understand reading between sets, but I feel like it would be impossible to read on an elliptical machine.
He's that powerful man
>ZEUS
>"OMG YOURE ZEUS!"
>"yea thx i get that a lot"
>blue eyes white curly hair and beard
>wears soccer shorts and ankle socks
>COPPERFIT BRACELET
>buff af
pic related
Chesticleseus
>benches more than everone else
>huge chest
>twig arms
>only trains OHP and legs
>fat bar bouncer who power uses the cable machines to curl/shrug/tricep dip as much as possible and literally nothing else
I hate how the curl machines are always monopolized by people like that. It's like half the people who go to the gym go there for nothing else.
>the quiet guy who lifts quite a bit but stares at the floor and avoids eye contact with everyone
haha what a weirdo
You're not allowed to post about yourself.
it do be like that
Young lanklet ectomorph with superhero/anime get up
>been here for years barely any progress
>strictest dieter
>most diligent planner
>gets stronger
>never bigger
Basically Saitama.
>the begginer
>lifts dyel weights
>looks weak and skinny or fat
>thinks that nobody in the gym is judging him
>gives veteran lifters a sense of superiority
>is laughed at behind his back
>will be gone by february
>will be gone by february
I rationalized not going to the gym at the start of the year because I didn't want to be included in the "new year, time to start taking care of myself" group of gays...
I think in situations like that it's worth going then because as long as you stay you evolve into one of the new year guys that did it and stayed
Fuck man that's literally me... Though this thread actually motivates me to go this week after I get my haircut finally
The Squat Rack chat squatters who DONT squat
I think chatters are in a class of their own. Gyms should have employees spot people who just occupy racks/machines and don't use them and boot them off.
>the tough guy
>DYEL weights
>does sets of 3 reps
>spends his time between sets air boxing
>always seems to be trying to pick fights
>disappears after a month and gets replaced by another
the MedicineMan
>typical 5'6 huge roidhead
>bag rattles with pills when he moves it
>sometimes he has earbuds but he's always talking, even during workout
>grunts louder than truck horn
>before big set he yells catchphrase 'MEDICINE TIIIIME! HEH HEH HEH'
>will do 6-8 sets and whispepr 'one more set, one more set' in between each of them
>yells 'REFUEL' then covers his face with paper towel and sniffs something
>goes into the yoga room during their class to change instead of locker room
Holy shit, I've yet to meet him but I want to. He sounds super entertaining.
yea he's honsetly the best. havent seen him in like 2 months tho
I’ve got this guy but he wears one of those stupid uncircumcised penis beanies and sings during his sets kek
He’s like 5’5” and probably 230
>the MedicineMan
5'6 huge roidhead
>>bag rattles with pills when he moves it
he has earbuds but he's always talking, even during workout
louder than truck horn
big set he yells catchphrase 'MEDICINE TIIIIME! HEH HEH HEH'
>>will do 6-8 sets and whispepr 'one more set, one more set' in between each of them
'REFUEL' then covers his face with paper towel and sniffs something
>>goes into the yoga room during their class to change instead of locker room
Holy FUCK I need MedicineMan on my party to buff me
>before big set he yells catchphrase 'MEDICINE TIIIIME! HEH HEH HEH'
this reminds me of an experiment i did as a young schizo pill poppa. i already figured out that the body when sore will fix you up so you could theoretically handle your last challenge that made you sore easily. so what is the limit? i had a job at the time as freight so i had to lift lots of heavy things. i announced my experiment to my boss and told her to give me all the heavy shit. and i went nuts omg. btw the oxy removes all pain and soreness. i was so sore by the end it felt like i was being crushed by gravity. entire fucking body sore. but pop that oxy and im a million bucks haha. i did this for a week just to see how much muscle my body could theoretically grow in a short time of GREAT struggle. end result i grew so much i have stretchmarks on my biceps. not just a little. just need that medicine and im a gooood. i have since quit the peels. take of this what you will.
holy shit its the MedicineMan
Holy shit it’s the schizo medicine man
>
>>'MEDICINE TIIIIME! HEH HEH HEH'
>Self-Conscious girl
>wears baggy pants
>wears baggy shirt
>never anything lighter even though she's sweating like crazy
>doesn't talk to anyone
>seems terrified of everyone but keeps doing her routine
>you can tell she has a killer bod under all that bagginess
>spends most of her time staring at the floor
Literally my wife. Im torn about her showing off her body or not.
There exists some middle ground between being covered in a baggy burka and wearing yoga pants tight enough to accurately identify every hair follicle on her vagina
Post your wife faggit
Also she's Asian
HRRRNNNNNNN NNNNNNN
Oh why hath an all loving God curse such a young, ambitious man (such as myself) with the complete inability to approach (asian) women!
painfully accurate stereotype.
i also see the exact opposite in asian women.
>girl who wears basically nothing and somehow legally gets away with it
i can literally see your vagina in those tight clothes.
hotttttt hnnnnnnnnnnnggggg where do I find her
you are attracted to menall illness because you are also mentally ill
Leave, normalfag
No such thing
I know that girl/
Recognizable. the one in my gym is also 10x times cuter than the thots.
Because thots put on so much make up and get so much surgery done that they wind up looking both grotesque and banal. Like, steak is great, but if every day you had a half-assed, gross steak and one day someone offered you a hamburger instead, you'd go for the hamburger without a thought.
>sauna guy
>Some type of new Yorker
>Hates US government
>Talks to everyone, learns all of their names wrong
>Will talk about covid as plandemic and is fully conspiracy pilled
>Does sauna for like 2 hours to sweat out toxins
>Loves to riff on people
Ran into this guy again last night. He goes to the sauna after work almost every day.
Wtf do we go to the same gym
LA fitness in Boynton Beach FL? Probably millions of dudes just like Tony.
Is he a bald puertorrican or kinda brown with a pencil moustache?
No, he's a skinny Italian, probably 5'8, olive skin, looks like an old legion soldier.
Fuck, sounded like my bro Luis. He's always trying to make friends with randos with that NY low class kind of humor and the way he always says their names wrong is legendary
>The Rancid
>you can smell the sweat from all the way across the gym
>gets worse as you get closer
>doesn't clean up after himself
>god forbid if he farts
>you once saw someone run to the bathroom and vomit after he walked by them and farted
>you're also pretty sure that the one time you found a live turd on the floor was his doing
>destroys at least one toilet with horrendous liquid shit blasts before leaving
>tolerated because he once saved someone who tried to bench too much without a spotter
This is me
Dude, you're cool and all, but see a doctor. There's something wrong with you.
And take a shower.
And use speed stick.
>live turd
w-what?
That's just a clean bulker
Depressed woman mindlessly walking on the treadmill for at least an hour.
Grey baggy clothes, messy hair bun and baggy eyes?
Yeah, though sometimes she has makeup on. Looks about 25-35.
The two fat first-generation immigrant wives from India who walk around and around the track almost everyday for months and never lose an ounce.
>The Veteran
>almost 50
>ex-competitive
>ex-roider
>main character of the gym
>knows everyone
>super helpful, unless you try to take a rack he's currently supersetting on without asking
>recently took a 30+ NEET he was training as a PT under his wings to get his life back together
>still helps him despite complaining about him all the time
>believes in a variety of conspiracy theories, but open to all the opinions about them
>Superstring
Sorry dumbass you can't use more than one piece of equipment at a time. Pick a lane and stay in it I'm using this machine now.
>still helps him despite complaining about him all the time
Sounds like a douche
>Ultramoron
>extremely fucking ripped
>you feel roid side-effects from just standing near him
>looks angry all the time but never says a word
>once broke a machine by putting on all the weight then adding more weights on top of the plates and pulling so hard it smashed against the top of the machine
>drives a tiny fucking car
Hispanic and what the fuck is wrong with my Yaris, I get 35mpg while you waste your money on gas and time at the gym. All that just to get places just as fast as me and to look DYEL. Fuck you.
>>once broke a machine by putting on all the weight then adding more weights on top of the plates and pulling so hard it smashed against the top of the machine
LOL I've done this quite a few times. But I'm white.
>herculean ghost
>comes in like once a month at odd times
>is never seen but the evidence of his presence remains
>maxes out every machine
>leaves the bar loaded with 6 plates
This is actually just a troll who comes in at odd times and puts all the weight on every machine but doesn't actually lift it.
I do that to fuck with ego lifters. When I'm done with a machine, I just max out the plates and leave.
We have a guy like this.
The only evidence left of his presence is chalk on half the 45lb plates in the gym.
He always seems to show up to witness new PRs.
THE GYM SPERG
>avoids eye contact when coming into the gym
>wears earbuds so he dosent have to say hi to the receptionists
>grunts loudly for every rep, even with 25 lb dumbbells
>goes wide eyed when the gym adrenaline/pre workout kicks in, stares at women with crazy wide eyes
>does push ups in the middle of the gym floor so no ríes will have no choice but to mire his dyel mussles
Please stop :~~*
You forgot the part where he spends all day naked in the locker room blowdrying his balls
Help me title this character:
>forever intermediate, can somehow OHP 1pl8 and bench 2pl8, but his other compounds lag behind 1/2/3/4 by a lot
>routine hops constantly, is doing 5x5 one month, PPL another month, and most recently has been seen doing high-volume assisted pullups and Dragon Flag negatives so he's probably on a calisthentics kick
>always doing the weirdest variations of lifts, was literally doing a Jefferson-Bulgarian Deadlift the other day
>looks kind of DYEL
The "I don't know what I'm doing."
Playeau Pete
Holy shit now we know his life story
Captcha: wawww
the cashier
>sits behind the desk
>doesn't do much
>"hey man how's it going"
>"swipe in today?"
>"membership's due"
>"hey have a good one"
In the same vein:
>Mister Vacuum
>gym employee
>whenever I see him, he's vacuuming
>vacuums the floor
>vacuums the stairs
>vacuums the benches
>vacuums the machine
>vacuums the counters
>always smiling
>there was once an incident where he tried to vacuum some girl's ass and she freaked out
>had to go hide in locker room to launch my sides into orbit
>suspect he might be slightly retarded
was once an incident where he tried to vacuum some girl's ass and she freaked out
Kek.
Probably filthy anyway
>the vacoomer
AAHHHHH IM VACOOOOMING
>the bear
>hairy as fuck
>looks fat at first glance but if you look correctly you realize he's fucking ripped with a massive core
>pungent smell of sweat
>grunts a lot
>actually really nice
>got mad once when some retard decided he would look tough by picking on him
>bear got kicked out of gym for a week for putting retard on his knee and spanking him like the bad boy he was
>has diabetes from eating too many sweets
My favorite is the gym barbarian
he looks dyel. real gym barbarians look like conan
Zoom in fgt
Zoom in on what? The background is out of focus and all i can see is this midget.
Is he behind the man doing cheater curls?
lol is this guy who threw a tantrum in the mire thread the other day?
be an alien
Are the rumors about men with this kind of tattoos real ?
Is there a single position where you could actually read this tattoo while you're already inside of her? In doggy your legs will get in the way. In Missionary the words would be upside down.
Am I missing something?
> her
Yeah you're missing something all right
Yeah, when you're mounting her or when you watch the video later. There's a porno slut who has that same style tattoo, but for some reason the text is
>you are so
>much more
I cannot for the life of me understand why a professional tramp would do such a boner-killing thing.
>In doggy your legs will get in the way
dicklet detected
Bigger brother to the gym dwarf who is 5'6 with same muscularity and longer beard
>Barbarian
>4'5
>the mascot
>talks to literally everyone in the gym
>always in a good mood and cracking jokes
>everyone at the gym knows him
>more than willing to spot
>says he's trying to get where you're at even though he's far stronger
>denies it and claims he's small if you point out the obvious
I got this exact guy at my gym, exactly to the letter
Sounds like a quality dude
I hope these types find friends as good as them. People like this are usually very kind because they don't want anyone to feel the way they've felt, so they go out of their way to help the unseen. God bless them
Who i aspire to be
I actually try to be this guy. I've befriended all the big regulars in my gym by pointing to their weights and saying "one day". Trainers love me but manager hates me for some reason.
>I'm trying to be like you"
This dude is a Saint. As soon as he sees me walk in the gym
>"Ohh damn here comes that big man"
I wish I could be as positive as that guy.
The Fatcel
>tall
>orbits his 5' 5.5/10 girlfriend
>asks me how many sets I have left
>sets the chest press machine to 50 pounds on his "working" sets
>sweats profusely over everything from doing anything and never wipes it up
Fuck this guy he annoyed me
>The Midlife Crisis
>42
>big gut
>does baby weights on machines
>rests for 10 minutes between sets and talks about college football to his gym buddy
>still sweats like a motherfucker
>never makes any discernable progress
He's Robert Durban
The photos are about 9/10 years old and he was 64 years old.
Here is his story: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPG94VMWPww
It's gonna be me someday
test
҆҆҆҆҆҆҆҆҆҆҆҆҆҆҆҆҆҆҆҆҆҆҆҆҆
>middle aged chinese dude who brings an apple laptop to the gym for some reason
>half-hearted fats
>goes to gym
>gravitates towards the recumbent bikes
>sometimes on ab or waist related machines
>spend more time resting than actual activity
>never see the same fat again, as they all quit after a single day
>comes over to open rack
>stands there on phone for 15 minutes
>slides phone into pocket and looks up dazed and confused
>no intention of starting the lift anytime soon
>throws a 25 plate on one side
>pulls out phone again
>smiles at some normie content
>slides phone into pocket
>does a lunch
>repeats for other side
>leaves for drink of water from fountain
>other side of gym
>checks phone entire journey
>does 1 set of 6 reps
>racks the weights
>repeats at next station
every gym needs a couple NPC's to avoid despawning when actual people leave
The Middle Eastern looking fella who has about 4 different workout sections going at one time in different parts of the gym. If he's not doing those workouts his face is buried in his phone.
The blonde chick who works out intense as hell like she's training for war, but is just a soccer mom or something (who I'd like to absolutely bury my dong in)
The 50 dude who runs on the treadmill shirtless and fucking sweats all over the goddamn place.
The 6 ft., 130 pound 50 year old man who does like an hour of cardio then bench presses 40lb (total) like it's going to do anything. I really want to ask this guy how much food he eats a day. This dude looks sickly.
>The Middle Eastern looking fella who has about 4 different workout sections going at one time in different parts of the gym. If he's not doing those workouts his face is buried in his phone.
Kek we have that one at my gym. Always on a video call on his phone with someone and uses equipment just to rest and place his phone on. Actually a friendly guy though, always smiling, but kinda annoying.
>The Gatekeeper
>Is turboautistic with exercise form
>Judges everyone in the gym silently
>Is somewhat buff
>Does unorthodox exercises
>Have his own equipment
>Trains without shirt
>Says hi to everyone and then judges
If you ask, yeah, it's me.
>The Warhammer Ogre
>Monumental fatass
>his shirt could be your bedsheet
>his pants could be a sleeping bag for 2
>He must weigh 450 pounds easily
>all hidden under baggy as fuck clothes that had to be bought from a custom retailer
>Does freeweights and bench press, mainly with chest, arms
>somehow dumbell chest presses 75 pounds per hand, benching hundreds
>never does any cardio
>The Cable Cobblers
Three dudes of varying degrees of rippedness who hog the two cable stacks for at least 2 hours and do every exercise imaginable + a few invented ones
>The Belted Boomer
Curls with a belt. Cardio with a belt. You name it, he’s done it with a belt
>The Gym Sociopath
>Very friendly, usually quiet, will sometimes strike up friendly convos with gym bros/employees/owners
>Seems like a nice guy
>Hes in the gym all the fucking time, 2-4 hours a day, almost every day
>Doesn't take any classes, nobody knows him outside the gym
>Always looks enraged or angry when doing workouts
>will bizarrely stare into the mirror during rests between sets, glaring
>is secretly working out so that he has ultimate physical power over other people, instead of love, self improvement, or health
Yea, its me.
lol what a gay
Enjoy orbiting at skinnyfat for the rest of your existence dyel
Generally posting in order to pat yourself on the back is reserved for , so I could say the same LMAO
Don't worry lil guy. You'll find her some day
>blah blah blah LMAO sweetie omg chungus
Bro you type like Reddit Gold is the only thing that gives you dopamine.
>no u
maximum levels of cope. sorry you didn't get the response you wanted in this thread
>uh thats a "no u" and it automatically means I'm right >:) mommy said so!
No, you literally type like you're a reddit tourist.
>if I double down on the no u it'll work this time
You have to go back.
Goofy ass gay post
we're cringeposting again?
you are so gay it’s crazy
>heh, nothing personnel kiddo
The Basket Ball American league (applies for non America countries)
The dreadlock shirtless Black who does box jumps above heights you can fathom
Granny at the pool
The midlife crisis
>usually white or middle eastern
>doing everything the younger girls do, aka cardio and legs only
>face is unnaturally smooth, probably had some work done, moderately heavy makeup
>definitely has a well off husband who never pays attention to her anymore
>decent body, nice ass for someone her age, not a slampig like most 40 year old woman
>probably wants to fuck a young stud on the downlow and can give you mind blowing sex after years of pent up sexual frustration
I'd never pick her over any of the younger girls in my gym but damn if she ain't a milf.
>definitely has a well off husband who never pays attention to her anymore
That's what she wants you to think. The truth is she emotionally abuses him and fucks younger men all the time.
Guy named John, always in training. Talking to him one day, he tells me he has a son aged 52. I'm like wait wtf aren't you like 60? Man is 74, full head of hair and always putting in work and always great to talk to and jovial as fuck.
I wanna be that kinda Old Chad when I'm his age. Reminds me of my boxing coaches too, both guys in their mid 60's, but look in their late 40's.
Keep active, keep fit lads. and do cardio ffs.
The Napper
>claims to be on some sort of program
>does one set
>Then takes a 15 minute power nap
>does another set
>Takes another nap
>People come and go before he's done
>From my research it looks like he's doing starting strength
The banger
> DYEL
> Always using a belt
> Makes the biggest possible amount of noise by banging the weights
> Has a dumbbell nest
>The Roiding/Methed out black guy
>Jumps back and forth between a bunch of different machines doing maybe a rep or two at a time
>Constantly talking to himself
>Randomly stops to shadow box
>Puts a bunch of weights on one machine
>Does one rep
>leaves the gym
this picture extremely based despite the man looking like a dehydrated hot link
>the bald middle-aged top-heavy half-repper
No funny stories, just as the name states. He goes to the gym nearly every day often the same time I do, but I've never seen him train his legs even once. He's actually a nice guy.
The morons that take up a section of the gym to squat and use the smith machine. Also the wigger staff member who trains with them
>tourist girl
>shows up once
>brand new clothes, usually shapewear
>interrupts your set to ask you a question she already knows the answer to
>pretends to work out for a little while
>you never see her again
The Lizard
>as name states, he is a lizard (western fence)
>he sometimes comes out from cover to watch me finish my heaviest squat sets
>I always try harder when his eyes are on me, I don't wanna ever let the lil bro down
t. homegym
not sure if this is common
>supportive little dwarf + his women
>nice full red beard
>good musculature
>is like 5'4"
>occasionally shows up with his fat girlfriend while being the most supportive and kind person I have ever seen
>actually manages to engage fatty with his gung-ho attitude, sounds like a cheesy life advice coach the whole time
>she's laughing with him and doing work
Its kind of annoying since they never shut up, but its also really wholesome.
i cannot believe google images has blessed me with such a perfect image when I searched "dwarf"
it was a webp so be grateful
thx for the snipping tool anon
snipping tool is wonderful, before i learned about it i was just screenshotting, then editing in mspaint. i use primarily for good posts on IST and webp images
>copy image
>paste in MS Paint
>save as PNG
>install lightshot
>screenshot image directly from google
>save as ____
>profit
OP.
Sit naked in the locker room eating a banana.
Watch the schlongs, dongs and balls of the other gym goers.
When the spank bank is full he goes to the toilet and jerk his cock furiously.
Cum on the toilet seat hoping some other guy will sit on it.
Goes back to sitting in the locker rom eating a banana and fill the spank bank.
Repeat.
Wings
>Has the lats of Zeus
>physically unable to put his arms anywhere near his sides
>is a fireman, comes in with his fireman buddies
>only bench and rows
Superman
>DL 5pl8 for reps
>Squat 4pl8 for reps
>leg press every 45lb weight in the gym
>comes in alone
>at least 5 people approach him every time to chat him up, they mirin
>only complex motions
Leo
>Brown, has tattoos all over his upper body
>Always wears black pants and a black wifebeater
>Rarely trains legs, a huge lumbar injury let him scared of that. Built like a dorito
>ALWAYS ends his workouts with 30 minutes of intense core training. You can see his abs bulge thru his shirt
There's also the teen girl with green eyes and lots of piercings that used to be the baggy clothes type. She loves maxxing out and setting PRs, kind of an egolifter
>She loves maxxing out and setting PRs, kind of an egolifter
pls elaborate
Yeah she got some injuries from deadlifting and shit like that and is obsessed with getting to do pull ups, she's at two reps unassisted rn
The fat recluse
>Wears cartoon shirts
>Bad haircut
>Will never show up again if someone so much as looks at him
It was me but now I'm only anxious not going to the gym.
i have exactly a dude like this at my gym. He's so cool and he likes me
Also the male venus of willendorf. Dude comes in, just fucking mounds and mounds of muscle, probably higher-ish (still in the normal range of bodyfat percentage) bodyfat, and his mere existence just made me happy. Dude wore a singlet and was fucking massive.
>huge 6’3 boomer who always spots me and chats with everyone there
>mulatto on roids with chicken legs, owns a local nightclub
>zoomers benching 15 pound dumbbells and flexing in the mirrors
>fat autistic guy who barely looks aware of where he is
Squat rack Fiends
>always a group of them, guys and girls in their 20s
>5' almost always Asian
>chubby and eternally bulking
>wears straps, belt, squat shoes, knee wraps, tape, etc
>squat 2 plates for 3 reps
>talks with everyone for 10-15 mins between sets
>does 8 sets
Kek 8x3 is unironically a valid hypertrophy rep scheme on squats
Whats YOUR character type?
Dark Knight
Player Hater
Im the local weighted pull up fag
Eternal DYEL
The wizard
The Onion
>Their generally ugly/fat lifters that pull a massive amount of weight. Gene's have utterly fucked them over but their desire to lift and eat whatever they want has given them the strength to lift an unholy amount of weight and a face to fear.
The Headphoner
>They remain completely unaware of their surroundings no matter the machine. Listening to podcasts/ blaring music the headphoner will hog machines and must be waved at in order to garner a response. Almost all cases will be resolved with 'sorry about that, I didn't see you'
The Chunky Autismo
>There here to have fun and will use machines improperly on purpose to 'get a better workout' and never wipe down machines or take off weights.
I think I might be the onion. I love eating shit like pizza and when I lift, all I can think about is "The more I lift the more calories I burn and the more pizza I can eat."
my galaxy buds have external sound passthrough, they're like budget hearing aids that play music
I have noise cancelling ear buds because the gym where I go has shitty dance music playing 24/7. I'd drive a knife through my brain if I listened to that for too long.
>the mexorcist
short mexican looking guy. before their workout they do a moderate amount of shadowboxing. I assume they are keeping the gym safe from unseen enemies.
>the abyss watcher
seeming normal looking guy, but in between sets they stare intently into the void. Probably allied with the mexorcist to fend off unseen foes.
>the deathlifter
while they seem to be doing normal deadlifts, they are actually conducting occult rituals. they use an excessive amount of chalk and make a mess, but closer inspection reveal crude chalk runes on the floor, bar, and their clothing. Natural enemy of the mexorcist. 4.5 pl8 is the max they can currently summon.
The Danish Dancer
>is danish
>super lean probably in his 50's
>spends atleast 30 minutes literaly waltzing around with a 2.5 Kg plate on his head
>follows that up with insane calesthenics sets, dragonflies inverted l-pull ups and others
>leaves
>the roiding manlet that tries to appear manly but ends up looking comical like the michelin man
What do I have to do to get this physique?
Just buy a white puffer jacket and matching puffer pants
The Me
>doesn’t care
>just improves
>doesn’t even look at women
>The Me 2
>talks only with males
>completely avoids looking at females
>The Ghost
>Quiet and/or severe
>Only talks to apologise, ask if he can use a machine or if spoken to
>Always comes alone, gets through his workout and leaves
>Cleans up what he uses meticulously, puts everything back as he found it
>Mostly comes at.night (mostly)
>Rarely looks at himself in the mirror
>Headphones on at all times
>Doesn't even seem unapproachable, just seems like he has no interest in gym culture. May just be some dude.who wants to unfat or get in shape
Shit, stop observing me. I just want to lift in peace.
Why not talk to him then? If nobody in the entire gym ever initiates a conversation with him, he probably thinks it's part of gym culture not to start a conversation in the gym.
>Why not talk to him then?
Please don't
Me except I don't wipe down anything cause I use a towel
>mexican guy that does a lot of shoulder shit
>white tanktop and hat guy who looks good always does the weights slowly upwards and slowly downwards
>gym owner guy who wears a black tank top and is kinda bald sometimes comes in with a chick always does chest shit and weird dumbbell shit too
>thick petite latina girl i fell in love with but just discovered her tik tok and she's a tik tok thot type and oh my fUCKSUIGNDFIGNDUNGDUN
>guy who wears bandana and always stares at me and fist bumps me every now and then and asks me what im working today, thought he was gay for the longest and still kinda do cuz he be lookin at me weird...
>the group of zoomers who are around my age but always travel in packs, always. in. packs.
>fat mexican guy who lost a lot of weight and is looking better and im proud of him
>girl who comes in with a hoodie wrapped around her waist and does the treadmill on max incline and speedwalks only
a lot more i probably missed but these the ones off the top of my head. my gym has a lot of characters.
>The Zoomer Crewmer
>All look same
>Exclusively show up in groups of 3-6
>Roughly around 16-23
>Swagger around the gym, high on testosterone and youth
>Usually in DYEL mode, but extra obnoxious if they actually are in good shape
>Hog machines, benches and racks for massive amounts of time, cycling back and forth and wasting as much time as possible checking themselves out, recording themselves or snapping selfies
>Check Tinder, Instagram or TikTok between every set
>Only communicate with each other and gym bunnies
>There for hours because they're either students or unemployed
>Almost always wearing some combination of birds nest hair, a cap and a vest that shows off as many muscles as possible
>
The sexually confused zoomer.
>goes to the gym to socialize
>hardly touches the equipment
>only ever seen conversing with men
>skinnyfat lanklet
>thinks he's coming to the gym to look for a gf
>won't admit that he's gone to questionable parties hosted by much older men
>occasionally seen with his boyfriend in the parking lot
>wants to get a gf but is starting to hate women
>ashamed of himself for fucking men
>wishes he was more manly
>religiously watches Jordan Peterson
>The Deflater
>Fat but clearly losing weight rapidly
>Probably joined as a New Years Resolution but actually stuck with it
>Lifts and Cardios like a man on a mission
>Dresses in humble, baggy clothing because he used to be much fatter
>Avoids looking at himself in the mirror as much as possible because he still has body image issues
>Deep well of sadness emanates from years of being a fatty
>If he gets to the point where women do notice him he'll probably still be too fat-minded to think they're being serious
>Will simply continue to get in better and better shape while developing more and more eating and body image disorders
ayyo wtf you go to my gym?
>Will simply continue to get in better and better shape while developing more and more eating and body image disorders
I am at a commercial gym right now so sadly not many characters, only big arms people with blank stares.
There's one old guy that can't keep his mouth shut though, everytime he comes he always corner someone and bore him to death with his long-ass stories and useless advices. I saw him once tell a jacked black guy that probably was twice as heavier as him that he was disappointed with his push-ups, he's completely clueless.
The future school shooter
>walks in gym with wired headphones
>never makes eye contact with anyone
>manlet chad PT
>exclusively trains 6-7/10 women on squats and battle ropes
>teaches the fully booked out cardio circuit class at 5am
>weird young indian guy
>shitty pedo stache
>overly talkative
>uses about 15 different machines in 10 minutes
>has never seen the right half of the dumbbell rack, too busy messing up the fucking order of the left half
Kek and is probably working out in jeans
and a polo shirt
I knew a indian guy kind of like that
>old indian dude
>60+
>bald and short
>always at the cardio machines
>carrying around a bag of fruits
>goes up to every single girl at the cardio machines and tries to strike up a conversation with them
>does this every single day I am at the gym
>mostly harmless but everyone knows what he is doing but allow it because they feel pity for him
>alcoholic tatted up female roid freak with demon face
>late-30s to early-60s (impossible to tell)
>bleached blonde hair
>huge fake eyelashes
>perma-tan
>was probably hot back back in the day befire the juice
>always works out alone
>never speaks to anyone
>aggressively defends the cable machine 7 days a week
>takes regular sips from a hip flask she keeps stashed in her hoodie between sets
>likes to emasculate newcomers and DYELs by interrupting their sets to demonstrate correct form with a fully maxxed out weight stack
>The Vegan
>skeletal
>talks to everyone about their diet non-stop
>thinks eating meat or any animal product makes you a helldemon
>doesn't actually do anything but a bit of cardio
>weird smell you can't really put your finger on
>always injured in some way despite not actually lifting anything
Depression man
>Late 20s to early 30s
>Shitty physique
>Weird fullbody routine everytime
>Angry eyes
>Speaks to no one
>Mutters to himself
What's wrong with full body routines?
i hope npothing, because i wrote it about myself.
Hahahaha
The 22 Year Old Go-Getter
>always have been skinny as fuck
>only does compounds
>follows a strict routine and diet, never misses a day
>never talks, headphones always on
>dresses normally in sweatshirts, hoodies
>finishes his workout in 45 minutes, leaves
>nearing the end of a long bulk
>not quite 1/2/3/4 but almost
>probably a little autistic
This thread went from describing unique and quirky characters to people just describing themselves.
Actual guy I knew when I went to Planet Fitness:
>The Jazzercise
>Showed up every day with colorful, 80s-style sweatbands on every limb and head
>Never once broke a sweat, but was always ready
>No headphones, every exercise was done to the rhythm of some song in his head
>One day he dropped the weight doing OHP on the Smith machine
>Lunk alarm
>Visible panic
>He exits the building at a full sprint
The Arm Wrestler
>5'7 height insecurity
>kind of built but gotten fat
>overly talkative tries to spot you when not asked
>challenged you to arm wrestle
>try to avoid him
>he arm wrestles all the staff
The Boner Lifter
>takes a cialis or viagra as preworkout
>"Boner lifts are the best bro!"
>surprisingly tall and good-looking
>rips ass loudly during every exercise
I do 90% of my workouts at home and only go to the gym to use the leg lift/quad curl machine am I also character or am I too much of a specter to be remembered?
>The Tourist
>Brief stays at the machine or bench
>30% of time spent wiping down before and after working out
>Occasional trail of paper towels left behind
That's me on 3x10 day. 5 minutes on the machine at most.
My grandpa
>Balding mexican boomer who always wears jeans work boots and a lifting belt
>Only seen him bench
Seems like a decent guy
>6’6 blonde jacked to the gills natty limit gigachad
Probably played football or something
>IFBB manlet-division ready indian dude
>jacked and shredded to all fuck, constantly posing, obviously juicing, always looking around to see who’s taller/watching
Guy gives me the stink eye for no reason
>Guy that looks like a clone of tim dillon who is friends with guy who looks like a clone of that recent school shooter mextizo with long hair
Nice guys tho
>Failed gigachad who probably juices and is covered head to toe in dom tier poser tattoos
Guy also stares me down for no reason he might be a fag
>Big graybeard boomer who wears plaid pajama bottoms and can be found at all hours of the day either slowly walking around the gym, slowly repping chest machines, or slowly peddling on the stationary bikes
>Always sweaty
Seems like a cool guy and I should say hi sometime
>In-shape free weight girl with shitty tattoos who is probably autistic but was doing this before patty
Would
>gay ass short ass slav who has a toothpick in his mouth and always looks around to see who’s watching him push baby weight
gay
>Cute gym receptionist who was looking at a broken cable machine one time so I fixed it for her before I left
Don’t think she likes me though
ho momma
The Pakistani Chad
>6"1', fit, handsome and energetic
>Brings two goblino pakis and hypes them up to be better
>Major in economics
>Turned the gym Stacy into a tradwife
>Is amazed at how much other people lift and hypes them up
>Very thankful to everyone that spots him
>Just an extremely positive and humble person
I'm falling in love guys I can't help it
awesome
lol i been going for a year i think ive earned my entry into this thread
>old lean saggy white guy
>friends with all the other old dudes in the gym
>grunts in a very specific way on every exercise, short efficient grunts
>has probably been lifting his entire life but just looks like he runs sometimes
>seems like a nice guy, is there every day
guy who watches too many rocky movies
>in his late 20s or 30s
>not in great shape
>goes "eyyy" in between every rep
>definitely has worn a fedora once
>tempted to tell him to shut up because its fucking distracting but i let him be
just go "yo" after he goes "eyyy" then you can get a whole gym rhythm going
The Buisnessman
>a rare sighting
>in the gym before anyone else, early riser
>works out in a button up shirt and tie, dress pants
>has suit jacket with him
>always incredibly sweaty from working out in fucking formalwear
>goes hard as fuck
I’ve seen him twice now and questioned reality, he must be a schizo or something there’s no way this dude actually exists
Your gym has realtime-based secret boss encounters? Lucky.
>that one guy who has the biggest total in the gym and openly praises hitler and denies the holocaust in casual conversation
Lol it's me, I'm that guy
post body
Post nose
Dumb Bell Dave
>50 years old
>grabs 70 lb dumbbell one by one
>lays them on floor rolls them over to bench
>picks them up puts on bench
>does some weird maneuver to lay on bench and get them up
>does 4 reps of about 1/4 ROM
>drops the dumbbells from the top of rep so it sounds like a fucking bomb went off.
>rolls them back to rack
>puts them up
Dumbbell Dave
I've seen a gym dwarf but WTF is a gym gnome?
The fat girl
>everyone pleasant to her
>if anyone ever talks about her, it's the usual encouragement Good For Her
>secretly everyone looks down on her for being fat and she makes everyone feel better about themselves
>since this secret Pride is not expressed in her presence, Jesus says no sin has been committed
The Loiterer
>saunters into the gym, is always fortunate enough to find one of the more heavily trafficked machines or areas completely open and free to use
>takes 15 minutes to get set up, alternates between reading something on their phones, checking the weights and rechecking them, sitting down, standing back up and moving their water bottle from one place to another, checking their phone again
>completes one set and restarts the entire 15 minute process
>is doing 4 sets per exercise and will do super sets for the next 2 hours
>leaves the gym having spent hours doing what could have been accomplished in 10 minutes
The steam engine
>past peak male, 45-55, long hair, dyed to look younger, can deff still land young cooz
>lean enough to wear tank top and have decent enough physique
>brings zebra print towel to lay on flat bench
> loads bar with consecutive 25s, but never more than three a side
> cranks out full ROM sets of 8, struggling as they get heavier
> every rep he lets out a CHOO
> end of set, rack bar
>PSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHH
He's kind of cool I must admit.
I call this dude blackie chan
>old African black guy
>wears a baseball cap and usually like 90s joggers and a t shirt
>looks kinda like yurameshi from yu yu hakusho if he was black as fuck
>brings a bow staff with him everywhere he works out
>he finishes his workout by doing bow staff drills in the parking lot as the sun rises
The slampig
>27-30 year old
>crop top without sleeves
>massive cleavage
>always putting hair up in a bun every couple of sets exposing sweaty armpits
>does farmer carries as an excuse to walk close by every man in the gym
>smells like sweat mixed with some sort of aphrodisiac
>yoga pants pulled to just above ass crack leaving open her belly and side fat
Extreme test boost whenever she's around
>The Narrator
>talks to himself
>constantly narrates people as they go through routines
>always there no matter what time I come in
>annoying autist until you realize how great it is to hear The Narrator say "Alright he's lifting pretty heavy weight... Good form, good form, excellent hip drive. Superior lift to the man from 3:17pm today"
The Autist
>Middle-aged manlet with a bushy mustache
>Works at the gym as a janitor. Mops the floor during busy hours
>Get's visibly pissed and mutters under his breath if you're lifting where he's trying to mop
>No volume control. Shouts when having a normal conversation
>Everyone at the gym loves him, including the ripped gay black guy who teaches him tik-tok dances
>Bio sheet on a bulletin board. Hobbies include riding trains
>the fatlet
>eats incredible amounts of shit
>wants to bulk so he can cut
>skinny with little muscle
>sips protein shake whenever he is not holding a dumbbell or a protein bar
>never gains a pound
>points out howbother guys' fat distribution is
>can accurately guess your BMI by looking into your eyes
RIBBED
>The reformed ricecel
>Short, energetic, and goofy/friendly
>has an anime haircut
>Actually ripped and looks like he fucks
>not a junglemoron usually korean or japanese, possibly hapa.
How the fuck am I supposed to bulk with a lower middle class income, food getting more expensive, an unemployed gf on neetbux, and electricity getting more expensive I have done nothing to deserve this.
Was meant to make my own thread, sorry guys I'm intoxicated, and sill high on xanax and speed from yesterday.
maybe stop wasting your money on drugs
When I was in school, I used to refuse to do my worksheets and things, telling the teacher, "It's a waste of time." The teachers tried to communicate to me the idea that "it's not a waste if you get something out of it."
Rice.
Also if you have enough money to afford drugs just give those up and buy groceries tardo
>Also if you have enough money to afford drugs just give those up and buy groceries tardo
My ADHD and APD are so severe that I'd probably koll myself out of boredom if I'm not high, what's fucked is no psychiatrist has tried helping me, only one who has is my mom and dad, and I have to pretend to be clean for them to avoid adding more stress and heartbreak to their life as I just can't bear to put Them through such pain again like when I OD'd. My uncle went through the same shit and got clean and when ma told him all about the shit I was doing he broke into tears, I fucking hate myself.
Psychiatrists represent the interests of global capital by prescribing you drugs you can consoom to regulate your mood. I don't believe they won't give you anything.
>the wop
>5'10" at the most
>hair always slicked back
>wearing a tank even in the middle of winter
>always hitting upper body
>miasma of cologne surrounds him in a 10 foot radius
>el goblino
>brings his two young kids with him to work out
>practically dies doing like 3 leg extensions on the machine
>verbally abusing his kids and forcing them to do retarded shit while he towels off in between sets
>yelling
>acts like the gym was built for him
>one of his kids looks like he's going to murder his dad some day
>the most annoying fuck you'll ever meet
The Vegan Athlete or Vegan Tough Guy
>Constantly irritates you during a set with bullshit facts about Veganism and muscle building
>DYEL mode body but buys a bunch of higher end priced tier fitness equipment and accessories but never reaches past beginner level
>Was inspired by the likes of propaganda such as Game Changers or other pseudo science bullshit documentaries but at every opportunity will attempt to discredit them and say they every enjoyed them in the first place
>Fake Gymbro persona but acts like an arrogant passive aggressive cunt it's all a mask for how self conscious he is with his looks turning him to shit on his Vegan diet
I made pic related to give you a better idea on the type of character
>the closet lesbian
>dresses like a basic straight woman
>works out alone
>lifts heavy
>completely ignores men
>awkward around women trying to make small talk with her
>moron who is dark as moroncoal
>truly moronjacked in that way that only morons truly are where they are not massive but are utterly "hard" and lean
>tall, too
>a true moronbuck
>has a permanent moronscowl affixed to his moronface
>moronstrides through the gym with his moronarms wide and his moronmuscles dripping with moronstinking moronsweat, moronhide barely covered by the kind of gym stringlet that only a moron could think looked good
>only see him occasionally
>never relax because he literally looks on the verge of murder literally every time i see him
>never even spoken to him and hey, maybe he's a sweetheart, but if he were a dog the council would have put him down by now
i hate that moron so much.
some people just give you bad vibes.
I've also read that IST thread but your post reeks of closeted homosexuality/envy
i absolutely would fuck his body but not him as a person. he literally looks from his expression, stance, and palpable disdain for other people and the way he interacts with them, like he is five seconds away from stabbing someone at all times.
you know what it looks like when people are being pre-violence aggressive; that's what he looks like every time i see him.
anyway idc i've only seem him like four times maybe? we train at different times apparently thank god.