Brehs I'm crushing hard on a barista at a local cafe. How much do I need to lift in order for her to go on a date with me if I cold approached her?
Brehs I'm crushing hard on a barista at a local cafe.
Brehs I'm crushing hard on a barista at a local cafe. How much do I need to lift in order for her to go on a date with me if I cold approached her?
There's no way of knowing, OP. Depends on the chick, depends if she has a bf, depends if she likes muscle guys, depends if she's straight/bi/a lesbian, depends how autistic you are. Too many variables for anyone to give you a realistic answer.
I only know her physical traits and how she comes off (at least to customers). Which I'll describe at length here.
She's probably around 5'3-5'4 (low mid height for a female), of a petite build, blonde hair in a bobcut, dark circles under her eyes, seems slighly older then me but likely late 20s probably not older then 30. She has a very old fashioned way of talking, if I had to guess she's from the midwest originally maybe minnesota or wisconsin. Her voice is slightly nasally. She's very bookish and definitely seems a bit autistic. She's very nice and has memorized my order and tries to small talk with me despite myself being autist that's hard to speak with.
What do you think?
People seemed to miss this but this is my description of her. How should I proceed based off of this? I'll also add she dresses old fashioned as well in cute skirts a lot of the time.
Compliment her oufit, ask if it's new.
>petite
If you're swole you already have a way in
Zero.
It depends on your social skills.
Thinking you need a ripped body to impress her is just your own insecurities.
Another guy might think he needs to make enough money, or be tall enough, or have a high status job - this is just their insecurities, but mainly it depends on social skills.
"Social skills" are a cope
Says the autist that never approaches girls.
Cope. You don't have social skills there are maybe like 5 people in the world who do. You just blunder along like anyone else and sometimes have good luck.
"Social skills" just means your normal. Not that pua "game" shit.
You're on SwoleShack, where most people are total shut in losers who never bothered making friends and breaking hearts in school. Telling them to have social skills just means to not be autistic and out of touch.
At most, you learn from experience the way you most enjoy flirting with girls and figuring out what works for you. So yes, we all blunder along life to see what works, I don't disagree with you there. There is an element of luck too, because taste in romantic partners is very subjective and there's no real way of knowing a girl likes you until you try talk to her. Even then it's not a for sure thing.
Nobody is normal everyone is fucked who are you kidding
What are you even arguing with me for?
People have weird quirks that make them unique to one another?
What?
You're on SwoleShack getting pissy cause I'm not accepting your pretenses at normality fucking kek
>Nobody is normal everyone is fucked
>he projects desperately hoping it to be true.
>have a high status job
is Zookeeper's Assistant a high status job?
assume it is a top 7 zoo in the country (by attendance numbers)
I think that's a cool job anon (:
There's two types of barista chicks: BPD nutsos and cute peaceful ones who would love to live as a rabbit in a cottage. The latter type would definitely like that you have a zookeeper job. Also apparently the chick in question who larps as a 1910s British woman or whatever is that type.
You're going to fail because you're already psyching yourself out by concerning yourself with whether or not she likes you.
Just cold approach and ask her out. The sooner the better because the longer you wait, the likelihood of another guy taking her increases not insignificantly.
Take it from me man. Every single girl that I hesitated to talk to to think strategy over has never worked out. Every girl I just b-lined to hitting on without really thinking almost always worked.
Make her make the move by always making sure you get your order through her and if it’s the type of place that writes names on the mugs you should keep changing names every time you go there in a playful manner and if she starts writing made up names you’re in, if she asks you for your real name (in a flirty way) you either try the big play which is telling her you’ll tell her if she goes out with you this week/end. High risk/reward or tell her and ask for hers back. Then the false names can be your playful inside joke.
Just lift the coffee cup and say funny things.
What funny things? Give me an example thats not gonna make me too embarassed to ever return.
Sorry, I'm kinda autistic and I would literally say funny things.
Let me understand this exactly, you would pick up the coffee cup and literally say, "Funny things." And then leave? Has this ever actually worked?
I haven't ever tried, so no idea if it would work. Maybe better just introduce yourself, ask if she wants to get to know you and not immediately leave so you'll hear her answer.
No, my refrigerator is running and I better catch it.
"hey, are you making coffee?"
just make the move.
If there's even a 3% chance, its probably worth it. 33 autistic interactions until you have a qt3.14 missus.
I was a barista. You're basically a minimum wage girlfriend/boyfriend experience whore. I was actively cultivating two or three dozen parasocial relationships at any given time.
Was it all totally fake or did you have any actual regular customers you enjoyed the company of?
I genuinely enjoyed them. The thing is that it was a professional relationship. It's like when the airplane pilot smiles at all the passengers leaving the plane. Like yeah, he's genuinely smiling and happy to see you, but there's still a very real gulf between you. It's hard to break through that coffee shop barrier cuz if you escalate, then the barista chick is gonna be thinking stuff like, "ok, this guy knows where I work, which makes me possibly unsafe if it goes bad" and "if one of my customers sees us flirting and complains, then is my boss gonna get pissed off?"
Yeah my overly self conscious self was kind of already concluded it'd be a bit selfish of me to cold approach her like that. At the same time that I understand she is just being a professional but at the same time my feelings are emerging regardless of my awareness of that fact so I feel a need on my part to express my feelings towards her in a healthy way.
I'm thinking the best thing to do is talk to her more, build up to subtly flirt with her for a while so she feels more comfortable with me and if there's ever a time when the shop is basically empty besides me and her I make a move then. Its a small artisan type cafe and not some huge chain so I think that allows more leeway as well.
I go to the cafe pretty much everyday regardless of whether she's on shift just because its in the direction of a park that I like to have lunch at and I'm a caffeine addict.
Yeah that seems like the best option. Play the long game. Maybe think of it from the perspective of Kaizen: continuous, very small improvements.
Dumbfuck lets a woman or tranny talk him out of making a move on someone he likes. Now he's going to over analyze it and actually completely ruin any chances.
Never listen to women when they say what to do to attract women. NEVER. If you want to talk to her then do it. If you are playing some sort of game trying to subtly flirt she will be potentially attracted at first then become disgusted with you because you're weak. Get over yourself and make a move next time.
It doesn't have to be some dramatic gesture, just a "hey I enjoy talking to you and would love to grab a drink on Wednesday night, how about it?"
You will always find some weak bitch man or woman to talk you out of action. And guess what you got one. Now you'll never know and in a couple months when she gets wifed up you'll be sadly sitting there wondering if she ever liked you and how things might have been. That's far more hell than any mild embarrassment.
You know what the last woman I saw for a decent period of time said? "you seemed like you were scared to touch me but I guess I was wrong". This was within hours of meeting her and I had no such concern because at that moment I had my hands up her skirt and my tongue down her throat. But any hesitation towards a women is a major turnoff and a sign of weakness, I just wasn't sure I was into her and she took it as my weakness.
I'm done, do what you will but don't let the simp you've been replying to talk you out of it, you're literally digging your own grave.
this shit, you people honestly believe girls DON'T know that you talking to them randomly or out of nowhere isn't you wanting to literally fuck their brains out? You're fucking insane.
She knows you wanna fuck her and is waiting for you to nut up and ask already so she can give you an answer of yes or no.
100% this. Never, ever try to play stupid games or wait it out or whatever the fuck else cope you come up with to avoid just talking to her. You don't have to go all over-the-top alpha Chad with it and act like she owes you a date, just ask her if she wants to go get lunch. Fuck, be a cheeky bastard and ask her if she wants to go get coffee that she doesn't have to make with you sometime, whatever, just nut up and ask.
Jej im in the same boat my nagger. Waitress at this cafe me and some boys ride our choppers down to on the weekends for some coffee (always straight black like a true fitizen). Last weekend was the last time ill see her ever unless shes there next year as its too cold here to ride now. It is what it is.
please don't post these pictures again
Spy x Family is the best motivation for rope hangs to failure.
Was a hiit dyel and I was growing a shitty mustache in that pedo in between phase where it isn't quite filled in yet and that's what did it for me. She's bpd as fuck though.
Now I feel like I look substantially worse but apparently Every Woman prefers clearly works out but not quite enough to counteract the drinking.
Do you know anything about this girl like her name what zodiac sign is she what's her big three in fact what's your favorite TV show does she read books what type of music does she listen to you're on here so you're probably both into anime or whatever does she Peg
Ask her all this while she's handing you your post gym venti javachip goysloppuccino
try. don't be like me who has never shoot his shot, never dared, never tried, ruminating over lost opportunities.
try and be respectful, if she says no just say cheers and do a 360 and walk away
Know that approaching at work is an absolute NO. She's in customer mode and can't turn you down without potentially losing her job (stories: dude asks barista being friendly because its her job out, she turns them down, they sperg out, corporate fires her since she was somehow involved in the distubance, so she'll panic and instead might say "maybe" to diffuse the situation). Worse, she will feel unsafe at her job now with you around knowing she turned you down.
Essentially the best way to make a woman feel trapped and "please leave me alone" is to ask her out at work. Absolutely tons of stories like this, tale as old as time. Real life != a shitty Hallmark movie.
>She's very nice and has memorized my order and tries to small talk with me despite myself being autist that's hard to speak with.
Classic "barista just doing her job and a lonely male takes it for a love interest".
She memorizes everyone's orders who come in regularly and makes small talk with them.
That said,
You can definitely chat her up, but it has to be casual. No asking out at work. No putting any sort of pressure like that at work. Zero.
Talk to her, and if she is interested, SHE will let you know/make the move to chat outside of work. If not, she is doing her job by being friendly.
Don't mistake friendly positive chatter as interest. Do give her the opportunity to ask you out. If small talk over weeks go nowhere, chances are she's not interested, which is fine.
If it wasn't at her job, it would be one thing, but trust me, you can read the stories; women are immediately unattracted and feel trapped when asked out at work where their job is to put a smile on and act interested.
Basing your ideas on the 1/25 women who makes insta stories. Fucking idiot. Be brief be friendly state your purpose without flinching and if she says no say no problem and leave. Work is meaningless those instacunts will reject you anyway and they're doing you a huge favor. They're cunts.
Ignore this homosexual.