Approaching 30 and been smoking every day for 15 years, day in day out, 20-40 bucks a day. It's hell inside of my mind, I'm losing myself and completely lost touch with my soul. I barley have enough serotonin to type this message..
Fucked up part is that I just plain and simple fucking can't quit. Some people just cant. Whether it's not enough willpower or my brain is wired weird, idk, I wanna give up but at the same time I'm approaching seizure or skitzo territory, when I say I'm about to lose my mind I littterwly mean it, I feel like I will lose my sanity from never being sober for a decade and ahalf at least a couple times a day..
I go to the gym every day
I'm an engineer
I quit cigs after 10 years and coke after 4 month stint one time
I've done no fap up more than 2 months multiple times
I've conquered so many mountains but this shit stops the fucking show, I hate it so fucking much!!!
Everything I wrok3d for, doesn't Mena shit cuz I don't have brain chemicals to enjoy anything. Just got a new puppy recently and it didn't do a dent in my depression..